FEATURE:
Modern Heroines
PHOTO CREDIT: Rory James
of a feature that focuses on strong and inspiring women in music, I am speaking about GIRLI today. Milly Toomey is an English singer, songwriter and rapper based in London. Fun, accessible and memorable, her music and lyrics tackle subjects such as feminism, sexuality, Queer culture, and mental health. Whilst these themes are fairly common now, GIRLI puts her stamp on those subjects. Her sound is incredible. I have been following GIRLI since about 2016. She is someone who is going to far. Having released a few E.P.s and a great debut album, 2019’s Odd One Out, her career is well and truly underway. That said, I think we have yet to hear from the amazing GIRLI. I love the moniker. It reminds me of Australia; what an Australian might call a female friend. I shall come to an interview where Tooney explains the reason for that name. I am also going to source a couple of reviews for her incredible new E.P., Damsel in Distress. I want to start out with an interview from 2019, where GIRLI was asked about her debut album. As she said in the chat with The Line of Best Fit, Odd One Out was a reintroduction; a more mature her:
“Toomey has lived in London her whole life, and moved out from her parents’ house in North London at 18, just as her musical career was taking off. She didn’t go to university, and hated school, leaving as soon as possible to pursue music at college. Prior to taking up music she was part of the local youth parliament, and “cared so much about everything” – a symptom of her OCD. “I think when I was a teenager I was just trying to escape from school if I’m honest, just trying to do loads of shit outside of school because I just dreaded it," she tells me. "Y’know it wasn’t all bad, I liked my teachers and my classes, but the social element of it just freaked me out. I was the girl at lunch time who was like ‘fuck where am I gonna eat my lunch’, so I definitely didn’t breeze through school. It was difficult and I think that’s why I turned to music, because I just needed something to do to get this frustration feeling out.
"I just remember being so restless, like I cannot fucking wait for this to be over, all this school bullshit, as soon as I was 16 I was like, right I’m gonna go to music college and I’m gonna do music and I don’t care!
“When I was a teenager I was very self-conscious and anxious. When I went into secondary school, I have OCD and it started to show, like the transition from primary to secondary school just like fucked me up, and I think I just freaked out. Primary school was like a little home, like a warm hug, and then secondary school, I went into the school of like 2500 students and it was pretty rough.”
As Toomey talks about her teen-hood, it’s not hard to see why she’s titled her debut record Odd One Out. She’s spent most of her life as an outsider – not in a cool, wallflower, ‘people don’t get me’ way, but in the way that took its toll on her mental health, social relationships, and trust in others. “I got bullied in year seven and eight. It was just really nasty people, and the jump between friendship groups. All of that made me quite an anxious person, although I didn’t really see it as anxiety at the time, I just really cared about certain things, and I think it’s part of how the OCD expressed itself in my personality and still does. I get very obsessed with things.
"I really cared about school work, I really cared about doing as much as possible. I wanted to go do that club and then that instrument, and get A grades. I put so much pressure on myself.
“I have a little sister who’s 16, and she’s having this crazy fun: she goes to parties every week, and she’s been doing that since she was 14. When I was 14 and in the youth parliament, I was going home every night and watching TV with my mum and doing homework. I really didn’t have a great social life, and I think I was quite lonely to be honest.
"I had a best friend who I spent a lot of time with and she really introduced me to things like music...but I kind of jumped from friendship groups a lot, so I think I lost a certain level of trust in people at school. I didn't know whether people were real, because I didn’t have that one friend from when I was like seven years old to now, where I think a lot of people I meet have those childhood friends...”
Toomey turned to music at fifteen as an outlet for her frustrations. After being in choirs in her earlier years and playing trumpet, guitar and piano in school, she wrote short stories that soon turned into writing lyrics. “I went onto a website called JoinMyBand.com and found two bandmates - two girls, a drummer and a bassist - and we just started making music after school and every weekend. We'd do gigs that I’d find at random pubs - like this - and that was kind of my escape really. It’s weird because I was fifteen and they were both like eighteen, so they were a lot older than me and I was kind of the boss. After a year they were like: 'okay we’re fucking done with this 15-year-old bossing us around' because I’m such a control freak when it comes to my music, and also because I was the kind of person who wanted to do gigs every week."
Toomey's cousin encouraged her to go it alone, and that became the start of Girli.
Her debut album has been a long time coming and wasn’t really meant to be an album at first. The tracks came about as a result of various writing sessions in LA with Mark Ronson-collaborators MNDR and Peter Wade, and former-Dirty Pretty Things member (and co-writer of Gaga/Cooper-hit "Shallow") Anthony Rossomando. Sticking with the same writers on every song was what she needed to feel more comfortable doing “proper pop writing sessions”.
“We were just making songs together, us three, and then [with] these guys called Fast Friends who are this awesome trio. I’d gone to LA before and I’d done the whole ‘lets do pop writing sessions’, had some good ones and had some terrible ones where it was like I feel like a product right now, this isn’t creative, this isn’t fun, so I went back and I just worked with these two people and it was so fun.
"I worked with a few other people as well but the main songs on the album come from these two groups of people. So I went back in may for another month and wrote most of the songs on the album.
“It’s definitely a more mature me,” she says. “I think what I did when I started Girli was I had this very narrow minded idea of who I wanted to be, I was like ‘I only wanna wear these kinds of things, I only wanna write this kind of music’, and I think in the past year I’ve really opened up more to kind of taking in more influences and trying out new things. I think that’s just a natural progression of entering your 20s, to just start thinking ‘who actually am I?’ In your teens you always wanna have this set way about you and you’re like ‘this is me, I’m not changing’. I was limiting myself before, even just the fact that I wore all pink, I was limiting myself in that way too”.
I am going to bring things more up to date. GIGWISE spotlighted GIRLI. Damsel in Distress seems like another new direction for an artist who is always pushing forward and exploring different avenues. I think that the E.P. is one of her most personal efforts yet:
“2021 marks a new era for GIRLI. Titled Damsel in Distress and encompassing a new direction, a new collection of songs and a recently-announced new tour, it's to be the most unapologetic yet euphoric direction the internet’s original e-girl has ever set out on.
“A lot of bands will go into the studio for like three weeks and make an album that all kind of links together and was made at the same time. To me, I write music whenever it comes to me. It's always a bit jumbled together with loads of different feelings all in the space of a couple of months," she explains.
"With Damsel in Distress, I have these five songs that felt like they fit together. [‘More Than A Friend’] is about unrequited love, also figuring out the frustrations of being queer and not knowing if your crush is queer. ‘Dysmorphia’ is about body dysmorphia and body image, and then [latest single] ‘Ricochet’ is about hurting yourself by chasing after people who are bad for you. I was thinking: all of these songs are distressing. They're all about times while I was freaking out about something and trying to figure something out. I was really struggling with it.”
As well as her musical candidness, it is GIRLI's proud queerness that has lead her to a fanbase of like-minded and sweet individuals. “Being queer is such a big part of my life," she enthuses. "I definitely think that queer artists shouldn’t feel any pressure - they can talk about it if they want to [and] they don't have to if they don't want to. I think that straight artists should be uplifting queer people, and be talking about it, like how white people should be uplifting people of colour.
"I think that straight artists need to definitely use their privilege in that sense. I feel so passionate about it, and proud, and it's always been a big part of my artist project. I also think it's kind of a cool way of attracting the right people. I don't really want any homophobes listening to my music.”
Speaking further about the Damsel in Distress project she says “It's kind of like going into a war in a way, like a mental war. With all of these topics and emotions that the songs are about, I was like this princess but like having vengeance on the kingdom. Coming back and being like: I'm not a damsel. I was thinking about that phrase damsel in distress and it really applied to me. Even though these songs are all about doubting myself, they're not necessarily light hearted, happy clappy songs, [but] to me it's really badass and really empowering. Releasing the songs now, I feel so empowered, and so powerful”.
There are a couple of reviews I am keen to get to. Before that, two more interviews are worth illustrating. BN1 Magazine spoke with GIRLI a couple of weeks back – ahead of her appearing in Brighton for a gig at the Hope and Ruin:
“Is being in the music industry like you imagined?
No, it’s more savage. When I was 15 and started my first band I thought everything was gonna be butterflies and sunshine being a musician. When I signed my first record deal, I kinda thought “that’s it, I’ve done it”. But sadly I had to learn the hard way that not everyone is gonna have your back, and a lot of people are gonna have opinions on how you should do things, especially when you’re a woman. You have to fight to do things your way.
What has the recording of the last two EPs taught you about yourself?
That I’m an emotional bean! These songs have been a big part of my healing from the topics I’m singing about. They’re my diary entries, and fans listening and following my journey are reading the chapters of my life book basically. These EPs have also taught me that as an artist, I am very multi-faceted. I don’t fit into one genre, one “sound”, I carry my stories and messages through the music in a sort of genre-traversing way. I find it hard to stick to one thing.
Do you feel the need for immediate self-identification, or are we all complex and dynamic individuals?
Definitely the second one. But I think everyone’s choices for self-identification are so valid and important and it’s up to the individual to decide what makes them the happiest.
The title Damsel in Distress appears quite loaded, in several respects. Is it open to a variety of interpretations, rather than a simple plea to be ‘saved’?
It’s a very tongue-in-cheek title. I decided to take the old and sexist term of ‘Damsel in Distress’, an old character trope of a woman needing saving by a man, and turn it on its head. Yes, I’m struggling with some stuff and yes I need help, but I’m gonna save myself. Each song represents something different I’ve battled; body dysmorphia, mental health issues, unrequited and difficult love, bad friendships. These are the distresses; I am the damsel who’s fighting them.
Do you ever worry about being misunderstood? Or does good art demand nuance instead of absolutes?
I love that there’s multiple meanings to art depending on the person taking it in. I like that people can listen to my lyrics and relate them to experiences they’ve had, even if their experience is totally different to the one I was singing about. Once a song is out there, it belongs to the listeners.
Are you thinking about producing another album? Does undertaking something of that scale bring a new set of challenges? (Apart from needing to compose 10+ songs, obvs…)
Yes, I am, and I’m really excited to make a big project again. The only challenges are good challenges; I have a lot of figuring out to do about myself as an artist and where I wanna go next with my sound. I’m excited”.
This is an interview that I also wanted to mention. The questions around GIRLI identifying as Queer and urging people to feel comfortable in their own skin struck me. There is one artist, Björk, who she is keen to work with in the future (which I think would be an interesting collaboration!):
“How important is your identity as a feminist and queer artist?
Feminism is the core of everything I do. Feeling empowered as a woman and my journey as a woman and calling out sexist bullshit is a big part of my music. Being queer and proud is also a big inspiration for me in my songs, my videos, my artistic expression. I love being a part of the LGBTQIA+ community and a lot of my fan base is part of that community too, so it plays a huge role in my life.
You have always been very supportive about people feeling comfortable in their own skin. Do you feel responsible towards your fans? Is it also a way of express your thoughts about society and what’s happening in the world right now?
I feel responsible to learn and grow and correct myself when I make mistakes, but I don’t feel pressure to be a good or bad influence on my fans. The majority of them are young teens growing up in a digital world and they are super aware and woke, and often teach me things rather than the other way around. My music is a diary entry from my life and what goes on in my head. I’m so happy that people can relate to that.
Can you tell me three artists that you would love to work with?
070 Shake, Janelle Monae, Bjork”.
As Damsel in Distress is the most recent E.P. from GIRLI, it is worth dropping in a couple of reviews. Although I feel that GIRLI will get even stronger and more astonishing as an artist, Damsel in Distress is a brilliant E.P. with some career-high moments. This is what GIGWISE said in their review:
“GIRLI is stronger now. That’s the sense on Damsel In Distress, each of its tracks venting a personal battle the London-born singer is valiantly fighting through. In her follow up to Ex Talk, GIRLI is unafraid to over-share, immersing the listener in brutal truths about body dysmorphia, unrequited love and toxic relationships. It’s a filter-free glimpse into her brain that puts a mirror up to your own insecurities and says 'me too'.
Rich in electronic texture, opening track ‘More Than A Friend’ is an immediate plunge into GIRLI’s current state of mind. Over synthetic arrangements, she articulates the complexities of unrequited queer love, yearning for more from a crush who’s sexuality she can’t determine.
‘Ricochet’ is a similar commentary on modern love, painting a portrait of a dysfunctional relationship that is as frustrating as it is alluring. The electro-pop soundscape and shifting vocal styles mirror the chaos of life at the hands of a lover who “only wants to touch me after liquor and a mixer”. ‘Ruthless’ details further toxicity, criticising a partner with the power to fundamentally alter the very core of her personality.
Newly an independent artist, GIRLI is at her most vulnerable throughout Damsel In Distress. She admits self-hatred on ‘Dysmorphia’ and ‘I Don’t Like Myself’ — an internal monologue littered with heart wrenching confessions of an insecurity that infiltrates every waking moment. No longer revelling in youth on the dancefloor, we’re with GIRLI beneath the gritty yellow light of the bathroom, gazing in the mirror and over-analysing each feature as she delivers an overwhelming yet simple sentiment: “I just want to like myself”.
Never one to shy from excess, Damsel In Distress is dripping in heartbreak-enhancing autotune and computer generated drum beats that punctuate some of her most honest and revealing lyricism to date. We’re immersed in her world that despite fun, polished beats, is dark and difficult to bear, akin to the era of its creation. Though dulling the sparkle and optimism of her debut, there remains a deep layer of hope, given the imagery of GIRLI continuing to fight despite the sheer number of aggregators.
Re-defining what it means to be a Damsel In Distress, GIRLI isn’t waiting to be rescued. She’s battling her demons head on. And, unlike the trope from which the EP is named, GIRLI emerges victorious, more sure of who she is alone”.
I am going to finish off with a review from When the Whistle Blows. They talk about the brutal honesty of the lyrics of GIRLI:
“More Than A Friend starts us off. with a sparse instrumentation. Sooner than later we’re hit with buzzing synths and layered vocals that hit you side to side, almost creating this kind of pathetic fallacy with the back and forth confusion expressed within the lyrics. There’s a yearning to the vocals and that refrain. It’s absolutely my idea of perfect pop in 2021.
Second track Dysmorphia makes it clear that Girli is unafraid of both being brutally honest lyrically and being big pop musically. Between the pulsing chorus and thrumming verses there’s a strong set of lyrics, laying out in detail Girli’s relationship with her inner saboteur and feelings of body dysmorphia. Ricochet follows, seeing Girli slip more into the rap side of her vocal stylings. Tense verses snap into choruses that would shake the rafters of almost any building you played it in.
Ruthless was the forth single off of Damsel in Distress and it’s clear to me why. Verses outline a desire to return to a simpler time. Then the pre chorus with it’s swooning vocals, offset by the lyrics outlining various dysfunctions within a relationship, leads into a chorus that breaks towards hyperpop. A busy beat, processed vocals and a variety of textures flitting about it.
I Don’t Like Myself rounds the release out and it’s a fairly open book lyrically. It is what it says on the tin but Girli’s straight forward lyrics and almost deadpan speak singing present these familiar feelings in a way that really resonates. Then there’s the chorus that comes around and presents the duality of a negative self view in such an accurate way. The track ends the EP addressing similar themes to the songs before it but in a more open, optimistic way.
If you’re a fan of pop that’s slightly more alternative in it’s aesthetics and themes then Girli is absolutely for you. Her songs on this release do such a good job of balancing the banger with the emotion. The songs have clear themes and meanings you can tap into while still being the sort of songs that you just want to see live. There’s a great opportunity to do just that too with Girli touring throughout November and December”.
A tremendous artist who is going to keep on releasing wonderful music, I shall end with a playlist containing some of GIRLI’s best tracks. She is someone that I have loved for years - so I am very keen to see what comes next. With two E.P.s released this year (Ex Talk and Damsel in Distress), she is top and prolific form! Given the quality of her music, long may…
THIS continue.