FEATURE:
Inspired by Shaun Keaveny’s Creative Cul-de-Sac…
From the Notebook to the Screen: Imagining a Feature-Length Comedy-Drama for 2023
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AS a big fan of…
the amazing Shaun Keaveny, I love his new podcast, Creative Cul-de-Sac. It was influenced by his rough ideas, ambitions and projects that he has acquired and collected through the years. Whether most of them will see the light of day, I am not too sure. There are rumblings and rumours that a sitcom may come to fruition. Each week, Keaveny speaks with a guest as they look through their notepads and describe creative ideas they have had that, as the podcast’s title suggests, wound up in a cul-de-sac. I think all creative people have ideas that we think are great and then do not get made or go any further. Enjoying his podcast (support it on Patreon), it got me thinking about an idea that came to me just yesterday. I think we can all agree it has been an especially rough last couple of weeks. In the middle of the Devil’s shit-storm of horror and tragedy, we have just gone through two years of a global pandemic and are now looking at a war in Europe that could spread and get much worse. The people of Ukraine are being displaced, destroyed and torn down because of a savage dictator. Russia’s Vladimir Putin is creating genocide for no reason. It is very scary to be alive at the moment. I think, because of that, nostalgia and escapism can be a good thing! Not too much – as, sadly, we cannot go back -, but a little so that we can all cope. Shaun Keaveny’s Creative Cul-de-Sac is providing not only entertainment but inspiration. I think one of the things I have learned from the episodes so far (the next one comes out tomorrow) is that there ideas and half-scraps of things that can turn into something good…
I was looking through my notebooks and Word files of old idea. Some half-formed concepts actually led to a new, feature-length comedy-drama idea. I was born in 1983 and I am old enough to remember the record-collecting clubs that we had in the U.K. and the U.S.. I think the best-known might be the Columbia House club that was big from the 1970s to the 1990s. There were T.V. ads that must have been irresistible to teens and kids! Even adults would have been hooked. Today, when we can get music for free and we can pretty much buy any album we want, we take for granted the limitations decades ago. Maybe physical music meant more, as we did not have the Internet, streaming services and anything like that. Music T.V. and stations like MTV broadcast videos and the biggest names of the day. I owned a Sony Walkman and a Discman. The ability to walk around playing music meant I was compelled to buy more albums and CDs. Friends of mine and my parents bought albums through a record club here. I can’t recall the name of the mail-order service here, but the idea was that you could get eight-ten albums for a very low price. It seemed too good to be true! This mail-order service was tied to a list of albums. You could choose a selection and they would be delivered to your door. From 1963’s Columbia Record Club in the U.S. to a few others that followed, they offered eight albums on CD or cassette for a penny. I think the 1963 club advertised six albums from a little more than that. Even with inflation and variations, that offer was incredibly tempting!
What was the catch? You had to order many more albums at ‘regular club prices’. That meant they weren’t cheap, and then there were the shipping and handling fees. You also had to respond each month to the club selection notice (one of which is below) or else you’d automatically receive the album of the month, and be charged for it. The sound quality of the albums was not the same as the albums from shops. You were sort of buying something that was more like a bootlegged album. That said, it didn’t matter when you thought you were getting a good deal. Even though, long-term and in reality, it was not a great deal, I know there were loopholes and workarounds that meant people could order under different names (they’d make up) and get eight albums or so for a couple of quid. They could then stop payments or cancel membership. This idea of the mail-order record-buying club and ways to exploit it has not really been brought to the screen. I know the U.S. sitcom, The Goldbergs, explored the idea in an episode once. At thirty minutes, it was not fleshed out too much (and the B-plot took up quite a bit of that time). I have Googled to see if there are other dramas, comedies or documentaries around the idea of businesses like Columbia House. I could only find one thing on IMDB, but there was no synopsis detail. I cannot see any videos of it on YouTube, so I am not sure whether the 1995 production was a comedy or whether it was broadcast.
It got me thinking about an idea. It does not have a title yet, but it is/will be a ninety-minute production set in California in September 1985. Based in Venice, Los Angeles in a year when albums from Dire Straits (Brothers in Arms), Kate Bush (Hounds of Love), Tears for Fears (Songs from the Big Chair) and Eurythmics (Be Yourself Tonight) were big. The year before, Madonna released Like a Virgin; Prince and the Revolution put out Purple Rain; Bruce Springsteen released Born in the U.S.A. 1985 was an exciting year when there was definite demand for mail-order services. MTV was in its infancy, whilst the Sony Walkman was also pretty new. Live Aid happened in July 1985, and the biggest films of the year included The Breakfast Club and St. Elmo’s Fire. Whereas the U.K. was dominating music in the 1990s, I feel the U.S. offered the best music from the mid-to-late-1980s. Hip-Hop and Rap would dominate at the end of the decade, whereas Pop was more prevalent and popular earlier on. It is a great setting and period of history to set a feature. We would focus on five teens who attend a high school in Venice. Parodying and bringing in elements of coming-of-age films and comedies from the 1980s, there would be elements of thrillers/suspense, music videos and culture from the decade. The teens would initially start by buying from a mail-order music club based in Los Angeles (very much based on Columbia House). Each come from different backgrounds, and all of them adore music. Restricted in terms of allowance and income, they see the lure of getting their choice of a bunch of popular albums for as little as a penny or two!
They then cotton onto the fact they can con the mail-order club and order a bunch of cassettes for so little money. Not only do they decide to keep a lot of albums for themselves; they start a Breakfast Club-like gang where they take orders and dispatch albums to peers and friends. Also nodding a little to a fairly recent T.V. show, Breaking Bad, there is this darker and suspenseful aspect where the truth is hidden from their parents. Things start to get darker and tenser when the bills come in and the teens realise that they have to find ways to pay the company. After various schemes and some illegal options, they know they are backed into a corner. Eventually, comically, the collectors from the company come after the teens. They also bring along two major artists of the time, Bruce Springsteen and Pat Benatar, to help. Hoping to lure the teens, there starts a chase through Los Angeles. It ends with the teens being corned and a nice twist ending. The five teens consist of a boyfriend and girlfriend, two siblings and the coolest girl from school. The girlfriend character (I have not decided on name yet) is hit by a car and dies. During the chase, the teens loaded all the cassettes they ordered into a car and were going to run. The couple are huge fans of Madonna and her 1984 album, Like a Virgin. ‘Their song’ is Angel. As she lays dying, the two share headphones as the song plays and they hold hands. I cannot give away the ending, but it is both funny and unexpected. There would be this awesome soundtrack throughout that would consist of songs from the albums the teens order. Many would be diegetic (songs played by the characters in various scenes), whereas others would be on the soundtrack. It is a comedy, but there is drama, violence and sexual content.
IN THIS PHOTO: The amazing musician Billie Eilish (who I think would be perfectly cast as a record store employee in Venice, California during the 1980s-set comedy-drama)
That takes me to the parents of the teens. I am not sure about casting, although one scene takes place in a local record shop, where I want Billie Eilish to play the worker there (she is cool but also a little bit sarcastic). I also would love Florence Pugh to play a version of Madonna. The mothers would, I hope, be played by Rachel Brosnahan, Abby Elliott, Margot Robbie and Keke Palmer (not sure about the fathers, but the excellent Lamorne Morris is a name that instantly comes to mind). I know it is a huge cast and it could get expensive, but they are who came to mind. They are a group of friends who have some great character traits (they are all music fans and especially love The Bangles). Nothing too explicit, but we would focus on the relationships of the four couples and their home lives, running alongside the main storyline of the teens and their mail-order scam. It would be great to have artists like Halsey, Dave Grohl, Daryl Hall and Brandy in minor roles. In terms of humour, there would be a lot of great gags inspired by U.S. comedies. Sight gags and pop cultural references would stand alongside all manner of interesting shots and filming styles. Without it being too disjointed or lacking focus, it would also be a visual mixtape in itself (if that does not sound too wanky!). I think the original concept could speak to various generations and would not be reserved to those who are old enough to remember mail-order record clubs. The young cast and the fact 1980s music and culture will always be popular draws in the younger generation.
IN THIS PHOTO: The Marverlous Mrs. Maisel’s Rachel Brosnahan is an amazing and versatile comedic actor/PHOTO CREDIT: Dana Scruggs/The New York Times/Redux
I guess the budget is the main problem. Getting clearance to use songs in the film costs a fair bit, so that would be something. As would the cost of hiring the actors. That is not set in stone, though there are a few actors in particular I would definitely love to be involved. I would not write or direct. Instead, I am more keen to develop the story and try and crowd-fund. I think that a lot of the budget might need to be raised through a crowd-funding website. It is unlikely an origination in the U.K. like the BBC would commission a one-off comedy-drama or have the budget. It would be ideal to have Netflix or Amazon finance it though, without having any personal contacts there, it is hard to get it to their desks! I have quite a few of the jokes and plot beats worked out. A few great shot ideas (a couple of 1980s music video parodies and a great one-take, plus a nice split screen at the end); a compelling plot and likeable characters. There are tougher moments to watch (high school bullies that exact punishment to students; a death of a main character and some grittier scenes, plus scenes of drug use and sex), though the emphasis is on comedy, farce and an amazing soundtrack. As we do not really have mail-order clubs now, I don’t think there are legal issues in terms of representing them on the screen – even if the club in the feature is loosely based on Columbia House. I also do not feel the idea is too obscure, as everyone can relate to it and follow along. California is the perfect 1980s setting in terms of politics, music and culture (and the weather). I understand it may be expensive. Whilst, if it ever does happen, it may come later than next year. But a winter 2023 release would be ideal!
IN THIS PHOTO: The stunning and multi-talented Keke Palmer is a successful and hugely respected actor and singer/PHOTO CREDIT: Caitlin Cronenberg for Variety
Usually, when I come up with ideas, I set them aside and lose interest. I am particularly keen on this, as it is not a full series, and there is a chance to focus and put everything into this feature-length (running time between eighty or ninety minutes) comedy-drama. At a time when music is especially distracting and powerful, being able to realise something where music is at the forefront and running right throughout makes it even more appealing! It would be fairly expensive to produce, but I think the concept is strong and, if a great writer(s) and director could be attached, that would lend extra weight. I would also want British actors alongside a predominate U.S. cast. All of this has been influenced by Shaun Keaveny’s Creative Cul-de-Sac and me thinking about old ideas – that, in this instance, have collated into a strong new idea. Definitely go and listen to the podcast and leave a review. I guess I am not the only one who, because of the series, has looked back at our notebooks and old ideas that we have left to collect dust. As I have written, some retrospection and new consideration can result in something productive. I am not sure whether my concept will turn into something (though I would love it to!), but I am glad it came to mind. For the inspiration, I offer my thanks to…
A brilliant podcast.