FEATURE:
Imposer Syndrome
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The Challenges and Doubts Around Monetising My Music Writing
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I suppose anyone who provides a service…
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should be compensated for their work. That is obviously true of anyone in the music industry. Though I do not consider I am ‘in the industry’, I am adjacent to it – in the sense that I am a journalist and write about music and artists. We all know that most artists are underpaid. Having to gig endlessly to make any sort of money, there is hardly any money to be made through streaming. So many have to rely on merchandise sales and physical sales. In addition to many artists struggling to make ends meet or running at a loss – especially when they go on tour -, they also have to face mental health challenges and the sort of stress that comes with a career in music. It is really tough. For journalists, the situation is a little different. I follow and regularly read a lot of music blogs and websites. I am forever indebted to so many that I get a lot of information and news from. Whether using a feature from a website to put into one I am writing or sharing posts that I want to show my followers on social media, they are a really vital source of inspiration and information. They all have to incur costs. Not the same as artists, there is still the cost of going to gigs and employing people. Even smaller websites and blogs have operating costs. One thing that I have been wrestling with for a long time is whether it is possible to monetise what I do – and, indeed, whether it is the right thing to do.
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I have been a music journalist for around about twelve years now. Although I have not spoken to any massive artists or had that sort of exposure and opportunity yet, I have been writing consistently and hard through that time. I have featured a great many artists on my site. In terms of workload, I am going seven days a week. Thousands of posts have been shared. I never get paid for anything I do. In total, the ‘loss’ incurred running the website has been in four figures. This is a reality that many face. I am lucky that I have a full-time job though, as so much of my free time is spent doing something I actually enjoy doing, there is that balance between work and ‘passion’. Again, something that afflicts so many of us. I never get too angry about websites where there is a paywall. It can be frustrating at times, as if you only want to read an article and they do not give you one free one, that does seem excess. Also, if you subscribe to a few music websites already, it can be steep having to subscribe to others. I have a subscription with The New York Times and The Guardian. I regularly use free sites like NME and The Line of Best Fit. Most of the more independent music websites are free. I also regularly read Pitchfork. A big website that could monetise what they do but choose not to. On the other hand, there are plenty of sites – such as Rolling Stone and The New Yorker – where you need to pay to read.
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I can understand why people would balk at paying for content. As I said, if you want to read a feature and see if this is the sort of writing you want to invest in and read long-term, that option is not often provided. Every site has costs that they need to cover. For the huge sites, unfortunately they have to rely on a lot of advertising. This could mean people get a lot of spam mail or navigate a website and are bombarded with adverts and distractions. It is the cost of operating a website now. Those in music are always told it is a gamble. That you cannot make a living out of it. Whilst there is not that regular paycheck and safety you might get from most jobs, most in the industry can do what they love and just about make a living of some sort. Even so, with many artists having to take second jobs or it not being sustainable to stay in the industry, one feels if they cannot make it and there is not enough money in it, what is the future of music journalism? I guess, if you can make your work free and not make too much of a loss, then that is kind of okay. I have been doing it since I started in 2011. It is not ideal by any means. I never really get to many gigs, as the cost of going is quite a bit. I also have no budget for something more ambitious like a filmed series of regular podcast. Throw into the mix the lack of time to really deciare to something like that and it is a bit of a head-scratcher. The thing is, as I put in so many hours a week and a lot of content is shared (and, in my view, quite good for the most part), there is that tussle in my head and heart. Do you find a way to monetise what you do, or do you give people open and free access to my journalism?!
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If I was commanded big numbers in terms of people who interacted and read what I do, I could get some numbers together and figure out some sort of scheme. Some of my posts do get a good reaction and a lot of views. That is usually when I write about an artist with a lot of followers or someone within music who shares my post on Twitter and that then leads to a lot of people opening and reading that piece. That is quite rare! Most of what I write gets some engagement and maybe the odd link click or two. Some stuff gets nothing at all! That can be disheartening. I suppose you cannot force people to open your stuff, yet when you put in the effort, do the research and share a good feature, it is frustrating when nobody looks at it! That makes the whole debate around charging complex. If very few people relatively speaking are interacting as much as I would like, how profitable and valuable is it asking people to pay? I could set up something on Patreon, although that could be risky. If nobody signs up or there are only a few, it does seem like a wasted venture. If people have been getting content for free until now, why then pay?! I would have to offer videos, regular updates; things that are extra to what I usually do. Exclusive content for subscribers. As my music journalism does not use video interviews, podcasts or anything that interactive, it would be a case of adapting and expanding what I do. I know you have to spend money to make money through, as I would need to invest quite a bit of my own money and find a regular quiet space where I can film and record content, would I be running at a loss?!
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I have over three thousand followers on Twitter. If most do not engage with my journalism most of the time, the chances of getting a big following or any notable revenue from charging would be very low. I don’t buy that every penny makes a difference and that it all counts. At a time when the cost of living is sky-high and journalists like me want to make an actual living on what we do, the time spent and personal cost incurred to make a little bit of money – or even not break-even! – does not seem worth it. I do feel that people should be able to use Patreon or Substack, so that they can give content to people for a small fee. Many of us in music who dream of working for a big publication or website and being able to make a living from that have their hopes dashed pretty early on! This whole feature came about when I considered how much I actually do. I do like that I can give people stuff for free and there is not that responsibility of having to subscribe and be tied down. Even so, as I share over a dozen features/articles a week and there is consistent and varied content, there is that niggle. That battle between wanting to earn something from journalism but, realistically, it amounting to probably about a tenner or so a month. In an ideal world I would charge my 3,000 or so followers a quid a month and I would have enough money to make a living and really expand what I do. That sounds like a dream. It is unfeasible and unrealistic! It is a shame really - though I do appreciate that times are tough for everyone. I also do not actually know how many of my followers have active accounts, regularly are online, or even keep abreast of what I do. There are so many things to consider when you make a pitch to set up on Patreon and ask whether it is ‘doable’.
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It is a lot to weigh up. If, in theory, there was a £2 charge every six months for my followers/subscribers, that would be more than affordable. How much realistically would that earn me?! Would it be worth it?! There is no magic number or way of knowing who would want to pay for my journalism and whether it would be incentive enough to be more ambitious. Many websites struggle to stay afloat because they cannot get revenue and subscribers, or they are spending a lot making sure the content is consistently, varied and engaging. I know many artists face these same problems. At the same time as all of this, if I did in the future think about asking for subscribers, that might elevate me. Make me think I am worthy of doing that. I am in position where I feel like an imposer. You get Imposter Syndrome: people who make it feel like they are frauds and not who people think they are. I guess, if you had Imposer Syndrome, that would be getting in the way of ‘real’ and popular journalists. I do have that feeling a lot! I know I shouldn’t though, if you stack up what I do against a bigger name and how good their features are and how they write, it seems like a different world! If they can operate for free – or not have to rely on paywalls – then surely I cannot complain?! I am most likely going to keep everything free going forward, as I do feel that access and availability will help me get more followers and traction – so, years from now, I may have enough cause and readership to make charging worthwhile. I was compelled to write to discuss and unpack a difficult position so many of us in the music industry – again, if you can say I am ‘in the industry’! -face on a daily basis. That guarantee and stability of regular payments from people who want to read your work and can afford to support you. This is an ambition that so many of us hold. Although there is a bit of guilt associated with charging people for reading my stuff, it would mean I have the means to at least do a bit more than I do now without losing too much of my own money. It would be a dream and honour to…
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GET that promise in writing.