FEATURE:
Sobering Thoughts
IN THIS PHOTO: Saoirse Ronan in 2019/PHOTO CREDIT: Paolo Roversi for DAZED
How the Music Industry Could and Should Highlight Women’s Safety
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I am not sure how to…
IN THIS PHOTO: Denzel Washington, Paul Mescal, Saoirse Ronan and Eddie Redmayne on The Graham Norton Show/PHOTO CREDIT: Matt Crossick/PA
wrap a feature around a thought that has been in my mind following something Saoirse Ronan said. The American-born Irish actor recently appeared on Graham Notion’s talkshow and there was this moment when fellow guests Denzel Washington, Paul Mescal and Eddie Redmayne sort of made light of a man having to defend off a stalker or stranger with their phone. If they could use it as a weapon. Ronan, clearly uncomfortable and galled by something women have to consider all the time, dropped the mic and bomb. She interjected and did say that this is something women have to think about all the time. It left them (and host Norton) humbled and a bit dumbstruck. Quite embarrassing for them but incredible to see. The audience definitely appreciated Ronan’s observation. That led to conversations on social media. Entire articles about the reaction to Saoirse Ronan’s truth-bomb. In fact, Marina Hyde wrote this article for The Guardian. Stating how we don’t usually expect hard truths from chatshows. However, we definitely got one:
“Therefore the moments when it isn’t take on outsize significance. As you may have guessed, we are talking about last Friday’s episode of The Graham Norton Show, on which the Blitz star Saoirse Ronan appeared as a guest alongside Gladiator II actors Denzel Washington and Paul Mescal and Day of the Jackal leading man Eddie Redmayne. We join the sofa as Redmayne is doing an anecdote about how his Jackal preparation involved being trained in self-defence, in order to do what Team America would call “his acting”. (Not how Eddie put it, obviously. And yet, the reality.) Redmayne’s revelation that he was shown how to use a phone as a weapon if attacked proves quite the hoot, with Mescal riffing on the absurdity – “Who’s actually going to do that, though?” – Norton chiming in, and Denzel laughing along. Ronan is trying to say something but she gets honked over, before managing to cut through with a line for the ages: “That’s what girls have to think about all the time”.
Oooooof. The look on the other actors’ faces after Saoirse has detonated this chat-icide bomb is hilariously mesmerising, as is the sudden silence, which is split-second but also seems to last 27 years. Ronan obligingly diffuses it by provoking audience applause with a rallying, “amirite ladies?”. And then everyone moves on. Well, everyone except the internet, which has been picking over the entrails ever since.
The clip itself will be familiar to any woman who has ever wondered if they can be arsed interrupting some self-styled comedy gold happening around them to say something that matters to them. As mentioned, Saoirse herself has at least one failed attempt at interjection before waiting, as one must, and trying again – at which point the guys are having such a rip-roaring time doing their bit that they initially don’t appear to realise she has opted not to respond with the timeworn improv gambit “yes and … ”.
Possibly the best part of the entire thing is the moment after, surely a shoo-in for the Best Silence Oscar. Personally I’d have liked it to have been broken by Denzel thundering “WHERE IS YOUR IMPROV NOW?”, but for some reason such lines desert our leading men. Caught unawares, Redmayne offers a sort of wan yas-kween nod. But the applause for Ronan is seized on as a natural break, and the conversation moves on without anyone at all discussing by far and away the most fascinating thing said on the sofa thus far.
But look, I know what you might be thinking: is all this unfair? I mean, they’re only on a flipping chatshow, aren’t they? The trouble is that there are so few of these sort of moments in the obsessively controlled world of contemporary showbiz that we are left with the somewhat absurd situation of twats like me remorselessly analysing this tiny clip like we’re huddled in the White House situation room watching live footage of some Seal team raid on a stronghold, and holding our breath for the kill order. And yet, this one proves no less satisfying each time you see it. Ladies and gentlemen – she got ’em.
No one is suggesting that the male actors and presenter involved deserve some huge backlash for this. What people are saying is that the moment was telling. When clips like this go viral, it’s for a reason. For this many civilians to share them – this many female civilians, let’s face it – means they instantly saw something they recognised. Most, if not absolutely all, women have been in a version of that conversation in their time, and almost all of us have not found the precise words to say in the moment it was happening, instead either coming up with them while stewing on the way home, or two weeks later in the middle of the night (still stewing).
For the right words to be found in the moment, on primetime television, is a fantasy arguably more powerful than any of the ones the chaps are currently promoting in their movies and prestige TV projects. No offence to the Roman gladiator, former-Roman-gladiator-turned-arms-dealer, and public school assassin with whom Saoirse was sharing the sofa. But Mescal and Washington just got totally colosseumed, while Redmayne took an absolute burn bullet to the forehead”.
I am going to move on to how this applies to the music industry. Or could. I am still compelled to stay with Saoirse Ronan. At best, the guests that sat alongside Ronan with Graham Norton were naïve and lacking awareness. At worst, they were ignorant to the reality women and girls go through every day. I think Saoirse Ronan was very forgiving and generous when speaking about Paul Mescal (a friend of hers) during a recent interview when asked about that moment. One that has gone viral:
“In a Virgin Radio UK interview, she said: “The reaction has been wild. It’s definitely not something that I had expected, and I didn’t necessarily set out to sort of make a splash.”
Ronan continued: “I do think there’s something really telling about the society that we’re in right now and about how open women want to be with the men in their lives.
“So many men and women that I know from all over the world have gotten in touch with me about this one comment, which is, again, I would urge people, please, please, please to watch this in context.
“The boys weren’t sort of like debunking anything that I was saying. But at the same time, it felt very similar to like when I am at dinner with a bunch of my friends and I will always make the point that, well, this is actually an experience that we go through every single day.”
Ronan added that she has discussed the issues with “dear friend” Mescal in the past: “He completely gets that and completely understands that but I think the fact that there was a moment like that that happened on a show like Graham Norton, which is something that the entire nation channels and to watch and even overseas, it’s something that people tune into, it seems to have had an accessibility which seems to have really gained traction”.
Every week, we are reading stories of young women and girls being killed by men. Their motives, disturbingly, jealous. Coercive control. Always so horrible to think how vulnerable so many girls and women are. What shocked me about the Graham Norton event was that the subject of fending off someone with your phone is no laughing matter. Even if it was not meant to be an insult to women or shrugging off a horrific daily reality, it has left a nasty taste. It is an attitude so many men have. Why is it down to women alone (for the most part) to speak out against the fact women’s safety is constantly threatened but rarely discussed more in the mainstream media?! There is very little activation from men. A shocking lack of awareness and knowledge. They are dumb to how nearly every women has to be prepared when they walk the street. The fact they might need their keys or phone as a weapon. Never feeling truly safe alone. I understand there are charities and organisations that exist that help women feel safe at gigs. There are resourced and phonelines. There is information and awareness out there. I feel, with every news story we read of a young woman or girl losing her life because of male violence, the more there should be outrage and protest around the world. It may seem like this has nothing to do with the music industry. A lot of women in music have written about women’s safety and their own experiences. How they keep keys in their hand in case they need to use them as a weapon. Both Courtney Barrett and Billie Marten have discussed it in their lyrics. Away from this, there is not really a lot of discussion and highlighting. As I say with many subjects around women’s safety and equality, there is definitely not enough conversation.
PHOTO CREDIT: Mikhail Nilov/Pexels
As with all of these topics – gender equality, sexism and women’s right -, it is women who are mostly discussing it. I think there seems to be a pretty low priority assigned to women’s equality and safety. It is something the industry could tackle. It is something that affects all female artists and fans. From those attending gigs who are at risk of sexual assault, abuse or violence in the streets, through to artists who live with that daily risk of being attacked, it shouldn’t take a reality pill from Saoirse Ronan to awaken senses and open eyes to something that some, deliberately or not, joke about. Men not having to worry in the same way women do when it comes to their safety. I have been thinking about women in music and all the layers and types of abuse and harassment levelled at them. How they also have to face sexism and misogyny. It all comes down to misogyny. An epidemic that is claiming so many lives. One might say that the music industry speaking out or there being this widespread activation can change things. Women and girls will always be exposed to male violence. Sadly true, however, the more awareness that is raised, the more it will do to tackle the issue. Making women feel safe in the industry. Calling out men to do more and to ensure that this sickening and frightening epidemic – because that is what it is! – ends in our lifetime. That we do not have to keep hearing about women and girls being murdered, abused and the subject of misogyny and violence. It takes me back to that Saoirse Ronan comeback on The Graham Notion Show. How a brief interjection made such a sobering impact. Stunned and make fools of the men who were casually joking about something that is very serious. Definitely women it comes to women and keeping them safe. How they have to always be ‘prepared’ when they go out in case they are attacked. This is a harrowing and disturbing reality that we should not have to discuss…
IN THIS PHOTO: RDNE Stock project/Pexels
IN this day and age.