FEATURE:
Silent No Longer
IN THIS PHOTO: Gisele Pelicot/PHOTO CREDIT: Alex Hambis//Getty Images
The Case of Gisele Pelicot and Why Men Need to Be Part of An Important Conversation
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THINKING back to last year…
IN THIS PHOTO: Gisele Pelicot arrives at the courthouse with her lawyer Antoine Camus, right, to hear the verdict/PHOTO CREDIT: Clement Mahoudeau/AFP/Getty Images
and one of the standout events/news stories was the case of Gisele Pelicot, who was raped by her husband and fifty other men. All of those accused were found guilty and sentenced to years in jail. Even if the sentences were ridiculously low and lenient, it was a victory that arrived after a real ordeal. The superhuman bravery of Gisele Pelicot defies anything we may ever see again. In terms of how hard it must have been for her having to relive such trauma. She stood strong, waived her anonymity and put the conversation into the public. Not only is she now a feminist icon; Pelicot has left this legacy. The need to ensure that we never live to see a day where her story and experiences are repeated. For anyone who says that this is an extreme case and things are getting better when it comes to the way women are treated and the misogynistic climate, it really isn’t! Gisele Pelicot’s bravery and remarkable strength needs to stay in the heads and hearts of everyone. To ensure that a light is shone on violence women face in society. This incredibly inspiring and strong heroine is not going away. I will come to an argument as to why men need to do more. Whilst there needs to be more conversation and action. However, before that, I want to bring in a couple of BBC articles around the outcome and aftermath of the trial. I will start out with this one:
“Dominique Pelicot stood accused alongside 50 other men, 46 of whom were found guilty of rape, two of attempted rape and two of sexual assault.
Several of them have already spent years in jail as they were arrested when police conducted their initial investigation in 2021, and will therefore be free relatively soon.
Most of the men on trial had denied that what they did was rape.
They argued they did not realise Ms Pelicot was unconscious and therefore did not "know" they were raping her. It is an argument that sparked a nationwide discussion about France's legal definition of rape.
The defendants' jail terms range from between three and 15 years”.
Everyone hopes that, going forward, something positive comes out of what Gisele Pelicot had to endure. That society changes. At the very least, that we never have to read of another case as disturbing. I want to move onto this BBC article discussing the outcome of the recent trial:
“After 16 weeks, the Pelicot trial is over.
This morning's session was shorter than many had anticipated, with the court president, Roger Arata, whizzing through the guilty verdicts he and four other judges handed down to the 51 defendants, and then separately spelling out the sentencing for each of them.
Before midday, this trial - which has captured people in France and beyond - was over.
Gisèle Pelicot was just an anonymous retired French grandmother when she first walked into the door of the Avignon tribunal. Few journalists were waiting for her then.
Today, when she descended the steps of the courthouse for the last time, she was a feminist icon.
Well over a hundred journalists followed her every move as she put her hand to her heart and smiled wordlessly, thanking the crowds of supporters who chanted out her name.
When her car drove off, supporters wiped off their tears. Their gratitude for this diminutive but extraordinary woman was palpable.
She will be remembered for a long time”.
It was shocking and horrifying following the details of the trial. It seemed to get more depraved and disturbing by the week. Against it all, Gisele Pelicot showed fearlessness and fortitude. So strong and resilient in the face of the atrocities she faced. As Cosmopolitan wrote last month, now that the dust of a truly heinous case has settled, Gisele Pelicot bravery and legacy cannot be ignored:
“Rape culture is infused into the very veins of society, a blood-borne disease that must be called out at every single opportunity until we are red in the face. It has a home in our schools, in our universities, in our police force, fire departments, health service. It is normalised to such a degree that a man standing trial for rape and trafficking women (charges that he denies) is one of the most followed on X (Twitter) and that another, convicted of one sexual assault and accused of numerous others is once again to be leader of the free world. Whether butcher, baker or candlestick maker, sexual predators have repeatedly been shown to be enabled, tolerated and excused. We only have to look at the recent allegations of police and doctors colluding with Mohammad Al-Fayed to aide his abuse of over 60 alleged victims to see that.
It is for this reason that this remarkable grandmother chose to flip the script and waive her right to anonymity in this case. Uttering the now famous words: “When you’re raped there is shame and it’s not for us to have shame, it’s for them.” Instead of allowing the trial to take place behind closed doors, in an astonishing act of bravery, Mme Pelicot decided to prioritise, as she said in her closing statement, her belief that “society at this point need to look at how we trivialise rape” over saving the remaining scraps of her dignity. She described how she is unlikely to “ever feel peace until the end of my life”, and how she will have to live knowing what happened to her. After months of harrowing evidence, Gisèle said “I admit that today I can feel the tiredness”, and we all feel tired with — and for her.
Pelicot’s decision to press the judge to allow videos of her abuse to be shown in open court means we are once again having an international conversation about rape and attitudes to women more widely. On the coattails of this trial, France’s legal definition of rape, which does not include consent, is being questioned.
What we must reflect on in the wake of this case is not its uniquely monstrous details, but how society has created a culture in which forums exist for abusers to gather, organise and act out their sordid fantasies. How 1 in 4 women have been raped or sexually assaulted since the age of 16, and how 98% of perpetrators are male. A culture in which disbelieving women often feels the norm, and where becoming victim to revenge or deepfake porn are legitimate everyday fears for women.
In a message to women everywhere, Pelicot’s son David said: “please, please don’t be afraid to speak out. The omertà is over. We have to speak out.” And while the onus should never be on the victim to speak out, we can hope that, rather than being singled out as a freak incident, awareness is raised that this is one hideous thread in a global tapestry of endemic violence against women.
Indeed, while this case has made headlines for its shocking nature, even here we have seen many of the same old victim-blaming tropes women everywhere face, being repeated. In particular, when Dominique’s defence lawyer questioned during cross-examination why Gisèle hadn’t cried more and challenged her on her choice to retain her marital name. A woman, betrayed by a duplicitous husband without her knowledge for the pleasure of a group of total strangers, expected to carefully curate or consider her own emotional response. The suggestion was further proof of the clichéd idea of the ‘perfect’ victim, reminding us how women are expected to behave in the face of abuse as opposed to the complex reality of trauma. Reminding us that women are expected to assume a man’s name — his identity — in marriage and then, after half a century of it being hers, too, to cast it aside if that man sullies it. To the absurdity of this question, Gisèle had the perfect response: “My name is known across the world now,” she said. “Today we will remember Gisèle Pelicot.” Whatever the enduring impact of this shocking case, that, at least, will always remain true.
If you or anyone you know has been impacted by the details of this article, visit: Rape Crisis England & Wales, Rape Crisis Scotland, or The Rowan (for Northern Ireland). RASASC provides emotional and practical support for survivors, families and friends. For additional support with mental health, visit Mind”.
One of the most frustrating takeaways from the discussion and discourse around the rape trial was men jumping in to defend themselves. To say that not all men are like this. It happens with every case of a women being raped, abused, assaulted or subjected to misogyny. Rather than there being compassion for Gisele Pelicot and anger at how she was treated, there is this instinct to make it all about them!
Very few high-profile figures spoke out against the rapists. I follow a few men on social media who were showing support for Gisele Pelicot and calling for change. However, there was a notable silence from those in the public eye. When it came to men, there was a lot of people saying they were not like the rapists. That this is only a very small number of people compared to the good men out there. However, the vast majority of people calling for change, highlighting the levels of violence and misogyny against women were women. This year needs to be one where things change. That Gisele Pelicot’s experiences need to wake men up. I run a music blog, and I did not read or hear from any men in music who shared their outrage and disgust. 2024 was a year when we heard of multiple cases of sexual assault and violence against women in music. Sadly, this year we will see even more. Things have not changed or improved. Men need to do a lot more. Rather than merely salute and admire Gisele Pelicot, we need to examine why such a sickening case would exist in the modern world. Such barbarism and evil. Looking at the music industry, there was a general silence and ignorance from men in 2024. Women who bravely came forward to tell their stories and bring their abusers to justice. Every year, we are seeing so much violence and abuse against women. We live in a hugely misogynistic world. This year needs to be the start of change. Men need to do more and have conversations. Speak out against those accused of abuse and violence rather than being silent or defending men in general. Gisele Pelicot is a heroine whose experiences and bravery should not be for nothing. So many women have spoken out and opened up discussion. Very few men did. This has to change. Writing as a music journalist, I did think about the multiple cases of abuse against women last year. We cannot keep seeing this happen. Men need to do a lot more. There needs to be massive changes, not just in the wider world, but also…
IN the music industry.