FEATURE:
Songs for Our Daughters
PHOTO CREDIT: Tamsin Topolski/Vogue
Laura Marling’s Comments About Motherhood, and Reflection for the Music Industry
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WHEN she released the album…
IN THIS PHOTO: Laura Marling and her daughter/PHOTO CREDIT: Tamsin Topolski
Song for Our Daughter, Laura Marling was not yet a mother. That has recently changed. I am going to come to an interview where she discusses motherhood. This is a songwriter, only thirty-four, who has been in the industry for many years. Song for Our Daughter is her seventh studio album. Her eighth, Patterns in Repeat, is out in October. She is without doubt one of the most astonishing songwriters of her generation. Her way with words and the scenes and images she conveys through her music are passionate, intimate, detailed, poetic and rich. For many years, I guess one of the main focuses was on other people. On characters. Many songs about herself. I guess, with a daughter now in her life, that will shift. It made me think about the impact motherhood surely has on female artists. How it can provide huge and fresh inspiration, though also perspective and clarity. For Marling, I guess there is that need and desire to be more home-based and spend time with her young daughter. On the other hand, a new album will bring with it touring demand. Trying to see fans and make sure that she is committed to that. It is a hard balance. One can understand why she would focus her energies and priorities more to her daughter than being as busy and full-on with music as before. I want to start with an interview from The Guardian from earlier this month. Some sections about new motherhood and how that has affected and infused Marling:
“Laura Marling is wondering whether to sacrifice her career for motherhood. The 34-year-old singer-songwriter, who first found fame with her enchanting yet earthy folk as a teenager, has decided to stop touring completely after becoming a parent. In fact, she might pack in the whole music thing entirely. “One of the great privileges of my life is turning out to be that I started my career early, and I can sort of wind it down,” says Marling with cool-headed contemplation: her conversational trademark.
We are in the living room of her London house, which is being redecorated – everything is piled into boxes; the one next to me is crowned with a baby music book and multicoloured blocks. Marling is on the floor, absent-mindedly pushing the legs of her trousers up over her knees and back down again. “There’s a part of me that feels like, will I just disappear? Maybe it would be nice to go and get old out of the spotlight – like Kate Bush.”
Marling is remarkably cheery at the prospect of professional oblivion. Since having her daughter in February last year, motherhood has become her new calling: “I was like, I only want to be doing this, everything else is secondary.”
That is one side of the story, anyway. The other is that Marling will be releasing her eighth album, the characteristically exquisite Patterns in Repeat, this autumn. She wrote it during the first three months of her daughter’s life. “I was just bouncing a BabyBjörn and playing guitar all day. It was all written looking her in the eye,” she says with total serenity and (somehow) not a hint of smugness. Marling was “high as fuck after giving birth, for six months. Literally psychedelically high,” a mood compounded by the realisation that parenthood hadn’t eroded her songwriting skills. “I felt such huge relief that it hadn’t changed that channel at all; I felt like the cat that got the cream.” After she had finished the album, she recorded it in a studio that she set up in the living room.
Marling feels her own beatific experience of motherhood is underrepresented. She found pregnancy itself “very painfully heteronormative – and I never use words like that, can I just say. But I was like: ‘Wow, there is no getting away from tits and ass,’ whereas that was never my pronounced feature!” But her new life with her daughter was unmitigated joy, and she struggled to find “anyone [saying]: I’m so happy that this has changed my life in this way.” Patterns in Repeat does just that, sometimes extremely literally. The closing track features the couplet: “I want you to know that I gave it up willingly / Nothing real was lost in the bringing of you to me.” On opener Child of Mine – a lush hymn to the cosmic joys and terrors of the mother-child bond – she vows she is “not gonna miss” a single moment of her daughter’s life. She is not wrong about her talents remaining intact; Child of Mine is the most beautiful thing she has ever written”.
For all her newfound focus on motherhood, there is the small issue of family finances. Marling admits that “touring was the biggest way I made money, and I do need to keep making money.” To that end, she is wooing subscribers to her Substack newsletter, also titled Patterns in Repeat, a series of richly referential, characteristically thoughtful essays on her life and the art of songwriting: “I’ve been doing it for nearly 20 years, and I’ve got quite a nice little collection of things to say”.
PHOTO CREDIT: Tamsin Topolski
It is interesting what Laura Marling says about her particular experiences of motherhood not really being discussed. I wonder whether there is reluctance from some in music to talk about the highs and lows of motherhood. Whether that is the physical and emotional strain or the unmitigated fulfilment and joy. Of course, women who are new mothers discuss this in their songs. There are beautiful and personal lines written about that bonding and experience. Is there a reluctance from some to talk about the full breadth and depth of motherhood, lest it alienate fans or seem too personal and possibly unrelatable?! I wonder if the industry as a whole is still accommodating to mothers. There is still so much pressure for artists to tour. For many, this is the only way they make money. The realities of being on the road means that many mothers spends days, weeks and even longer away from their children. Laura Marling’s seeming peace with potentially ending her career to dedicate her time to motherhood is commendable. I wonder whether part of that is to do with touring and the near-impossible task of being able to do so in a meaningful way and spend time at home. There are articles like this and this that talk about how to be a touring musician and a mother. There is still this sad realisation that many women coming into music might choose music over motherhood. The grim reality of doing both and how it is hard to do it all. There are so many positives, though. As Laura Marling discussed in that interview with The Guardian. Before that, this interview from last year saw musician Katie Melua and FOH Engineer Bryony October chat about how they balance life and motherhood on tour. They also discussed reasons why bringing a child on tour is a realistic option more productions could look into:
“I can’t justify encouraging young women to consider a career in the live music industry without addressing the fact that having a child could effectively end your career,” began Bryony October, FOH Engineer for Ward Thomas and Katie Melua. The latter artist was currently sitting next to October nodding along profusely in the grand setting of Birmingham’s Symphony Hall – hours before doors opened to punters keen to hear some of the singer-songwriter’s latest material, along with hits from Nine Million Bicycles and The Closest Thing to Crazy. At a cursory glance, as the crew set about putting the final pieces in place, this tour seemed much like most others. However, a closer look at the bus passenger lists reveals this tour is travelling with two people under the age of three.
For Melua’s latest outing, the singer-songwriter had opted to bring her seven-month old son, Sandro, out on the road with her, taking inspiration from her long-serving FOH Engineer whose young son, Jesse, was also joining the crew on the tour – a decision the two mothers agreed sent a strong message to the wider touring industry.
Long-time readers may remember that October and her partner, Jake Vernum, spoke to TPi almost a year ago about the struggles of being new parents while both still working in the live events industry [see TPi #268]. During that time, October explained how she had brought her son out on the road with her, sometimes with Vernum coming along to handle parental duties and also recruiting her mother to take on childcare duties.
Both during that interview and again when TPi spoke to October in Birmingham, she explained how she felt that having a child was career suicide, as an extended break from the road would mean that clients new and old would simply stop calling.
“I’ve had nothing but positive feedback since that article last year. People seemed delighted and surprised that this was happening as it was a concept that was seemingly impossible for the crew at least. I feel I’ve given women a bit of hope that having a child doesn’t have to be a career ender,” reported October.
“Bryony has been a huge inspiration for me to take the leap into motherhood,” explained Melua. “Admittedly, many of my close friends are either full-time mothers or successful businesswomen who have nannies helping them raise their children. I didn’t know any mothers who toured, so when I saw what Bryony was doing it, it made me feel like I could as well. There really hasn’t been any major differences in terms of logistics on this tour – it just required good communication with the entire team and a choice of which bus to go on.”
The tour featured a family and a crew bus with the crew split between the two. “If any of the band or crew want some peace, they had a choice to go on the other bus, although we have found the family bus is actually a lot quieter,” laughed Melua. “Last summer when Jesse was out with us, we only had one bus, which we kept segregated with Jesse and his carer using the family lounge at the back”.
If some artists are able to balance motherhood and touring, many others find that they have to make a difficult choice. Many women might consider not having children because their careers will suffer. I wonder whether there is enough support for women in music who have children. For women in general. Think about women who work in professional studios and those right throughout the industry. Fewer opportunities to begin with, they also find that their careers will be affected massively if they have children when in a job. Maybe Laura Marling is in a position where she can financially and personally afford to take steps back. Others are not so fortunate. It does call into question whether the industry is accommodation of and supportive towards women. It still very much seems geared towards men. What does come out of motherhood is the experiences and fulfilment. This can either feed directly into the music and lead to the most astonishing and satisfying songs of an artist’s life. Also, there is something that goes deeper than many other songs. A viewpoint and dynamic that many of us are either unfamiliar with or can never experience. A potent, moving and very personal paen that can also resonate with many other people. We will hear this on Laura Marling’s new album, Patterns in Repeat. Again, I wonder if there is this encouragement of new mothers very much being honest, open and broad about their experiences of motherhood.
From the almost unheard of toughness and struggles through to how it can be so nourishing, enriching and life-changing. Few artists maybe going to those lengths. It is a shame. I hope that Laura Marling’s words and music will inspire others. That there is more examination of motherhood and its wonders. If motherhood can very much ignite songwriting juices and elevate a career, there is still that struggle for mothers on tour. It can be very hard for new mothers to have a professional career life they did before children. Not able to do the same tour dates and travel as far. Maybe having to take a baby on the road and find compromises. Maybe some can take to platforms like TikTok to compensate for less touring or make revenue. It is not ideal. Many women might not want to. Others might feel comfortable. It is a shame. What should be a very positive and incredible experience – new motherhood – might mean a lot more sacrifice. More than any other career. There is the other side to the page. The motivation for so many incredible new songs. A whole new perspective. It would be great if there was a way where new mothers in music could have more support. Not having to decide whether they want a career or motherhood. It is unacceptable. How can things change?! The industry recognising how important motherhood is to artists. How it is essential that women can still enjoy their careers and be supported. That stories about motherhood and its beatific benefits are highlighted and encouraged. A wider range of voices on the subject. The industry does need to get behind women and help lessen that burden or having to either wind down their career or balance things. Laura Marling’s word hit me and made me think more widely about women in music and motherhood. A subject that should be talked about…
A lot more.